Yesterday couldn’t have turned out any more uncomfortable for me at work. As I went along with my usual routine, my boss told me at one point he would like to see me in private, but later on in the day. I wonder what the heck it is about someone telling you “I want to see you in private” that somehow makes for a very long morning. I wasn’t in the best mood, I had developed a migraine a few days earlier with a very good chance of it culminating at that point and the visions of future software releases that only grow bigger and more significant with time did nothing but aggravate my concerns.
I started to think back to why I was being called in. A few days ago I was cited for not being as responsive to some production issues, which ultimately righted themselves, but what else could I have done that would put me in any more hot water? I was imagining a Donald Trump style answer with the infamous snake-style wrist snap asking me to move on along….
So the time came for the office visit. And with the migraine, stress and anxiety clouding my senses, I found myself sucked into a meltdown I could not control. It’s about my performance, the boss says. And right before his eyes, I caved in to nerves and tears. In between thoughts of “damn is this professional or what?” and “okay, he’s going to say I’m found out and the blog is against compliance” I sniveled through a hasty explanation of my pounding headache to the man. He looked very concerned and taken aback. Then as I anticipated the Donald Trump response, he told me I just received a %2 raise.
It was out of nowhere and completely unexpected and our yearly reviews don’t take place till March. And there I was like a sniveling idiot thinking he was going to dooce me. Well now that it’s all said and done, the aftermath has kept me as a ball of anxiety still, as I’ve probably caused him further wonder. Thanks for the 2% raise, boss.
Sometimes when you’re trying to perform a high-wire balancing act, you never know when a misstep will cause the ax to fall.
< Thanks Ipswitch for the pic. >
Haha, that’s a good one! As you correctly pointed out, most private conversations with one’s boss don’t go nearly as well.
Congratulations on your raise!
Thanks again! Ah the embarrassment of it all: with regards to this meeting and what went down, I now don’t know how I’m going to live this down. Sigh.
SVB,
Your experience reminds me to keep an open mind when I go in to visit someone higher up in the food chain. I should probably also do a better job of listening instead of trying to focus so much on the points I want to make . . .
Congrats on the raise, BTW!
The Carnival of Thoughtful Consideration #1
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Thank you all for participating in the inaugural edition of The Carnival of Thoughtful Consideration! There are some wonderful submissions, and I look forward to learning from you through your posts.
Wit…
[...] working on my story of almost being caught slacking, but first Silicon Valley Blogger presents Work Place Drama Ends In Mo Money posted at The Digerati Life, saying, “What happened to me when I thought I had [...]
[...] it’s embarrassing to be less than businesslike in a professional situation. Here’s a personal experience that bothered me for quite a while; I actually still cringe when I recall the [...]
It seems that you completely mis-read your work situation. Is your boss that ‘mean’ that any conversation that needs to be held in private causes you a lot of stress. Why not approach the meeting with a open mind, at least you would not have stressed out over something for hours or maybe days prior to even talking with your boss. Seems like a lot of unwanted stress you placed on yourself.