The other day couldn’t have turned out any more uncomfortable for me at work. As I went along with my usual routine, my boss told me at one point he would like to see me in private, but later on in the day. I wonder what the heck it is about someone telling you “I want to see you in private” that somehow makes for a very long morning. I wasn’t in the best mood, I had developed a migraine a few days earlier with a very good chance of it culminating at that point and the visions of future software releases that only grow bigger and more significant with time did nothing but aggravate my concerns.
I started to think back to why I was being called in. A few days ago I was cited for not being as responsive to some production issues, which ultimately righted themselves, but what else could I have done that would put me in any more hot water? I was imagining a Donald Trump style answer with the infamous snake-style wrist snap asking me to move on along….
So the time came for the office visit. And with the migraine, stress and anxiety clouding my senses, I found myself sucked into a meltdown I could not control. It’s about my performance, the boss says. And right before his eyes, I caved in to nerves and tears. In between thoughts of “damn is this professional or what?” and “okay, he’s going to say I’m found out and the blog is against compliance” I sniveled through a hasty explanation of my pounding headache to the man. He looked very concerned and taken aback. Then as I anticipated the Donald Trump response, he told me I just received a %2 raise.
It was out of nowhere and completely unexpected and our yearly reviews don’t take place till March. And there I was like a sniveling idiot thinking he was going to dooce me. Well now that it’s all said and done, the aftermath has kept me as a ball of anxiety still, as I’ve probably caused him further wonder. Thanks for the 2% raise, boss.
Sometimes when you’re trying to perform a high-wire balancing act, you never know when a misstep will cause the ax to fall.
Thanks to blogs.ipswitch.com for the pic.
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