The Digerati Life

The cost is limited; the value, unlimited.

It’s time for our baby to move from his crib to a big boy’s bed. When kids start to make these transitions, you know that it’s time to prepare for some outlay. Precious they may be, they have a cost. We always knew that having kids would be expensive, but for the most part we thought of it in vague terms: food, shelter, clothing and tuition expenses folded into a general budget. But when I think of the actual details that are involved, my eyes bug out from how much it all amounts to. So I’m always impressed by how those people who have kids early in their lives are able to make things work.

In our case, we married fairly late and thus had children late in life in order to ensure that we had our financial foundation in place before embarking on growing our family. We wanted to make sure we could handle the obligations that would come our way when it happened. In terms of finances, we were quite ready to meet the expected expenses head on.

For those who already have kids, this discussion will be familiar terrain. For those who don’t, then maybe you’ll see what could be in store for you. Hopefully this inspires you further to save your heart out for times like these.

We already know that life stages are prime for spending. The money spigot opens when you attend college (for those of you who’ve taken out student loans), get your first apartment and car, get married, pay for your own wedding and so forth. But the big bucks don’t really hit you till later on, as these examples will show you. Let me try to illustrate the finer details of spending that is in store for every parent (though each family may handle expenditures differently). Allow me to also intersperse the following list with some notes from this humorous list called Preparation For Parenthood. I had too much of a laugh not to work some if it in here!

Baby Costs

Baby is born.

Break out the all the new baby stuff! The diapers, bottles, crib, toys and all! Hospital bills too. Even if you’re covered by insurance, you still need to cover a portion of your hospital stay, and it’s a big expense — in the thousands — especially if you’re not used to spending like this. You’ll begin a new relationship with a pediatrician or just your luck, the emergency room for those unexpected visits. They all add up! But those baby showers should help a little with the cute stuff.

Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a pillowcase filled with beans down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for paternity, go to the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.

Baby begins to crawl.

Time to baby-proof the house. Have you tried all those safety gates and drawer locks already? These have been a source of frustration for me. My experience hasn’t been that great with many of these little tools that just don’t work. There’s nothing more annoying than a safety knob that fails on the first try or that gets busted upon installation. Try to fight it out with the Lullaby Lane clerk to see if they’ll accept returns for open packages. You may have to do some heavy research or buy a few of these safety gadgets to see if anything sticks or works.

Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old baby.

Baby moves from crib to kid’s bed.

Crib moves out, toddler bed moves in. Then not long later, you’ll need the older kid’s bed. I’m trying to “invest” in this process by buying and equipping one bed to “grow” with the child. When you consider bunk beds, trundles and all that for future sleepovers, it can be hefty. You may want to think about hitting the used furniture sources for this.

Baby goes to day care.

Services for infants and toddlers can be a huge expense. If you have some kind of day care reimbursement account or similar benefit at work, take it. It could give you a tax break. Over in the SF Bay Area, day care can easily cost $1,000 a month even for partial sitting services. It’s insane. If you have extended family, getting along with them could save you a bundle…

Babies are destructive creatures.

Yes, they are cute and cuddly, but stuff won’t last long in their hands. New toys grow boring quickly. Or they break. So used things are great for kids, and being creative also works. Hopefully you’ll be able to get hand-me-downs from friends, family, neighbors. You can also entertain kids with makeshift creations from empty boxes or sock puppets. Get or buy used stuff wherever you can get it. Keep the valuable vases and decor out of their way or risk major heartache. A funny store about this: I have some best friends who have the most exquisite furniture in their home and they *say* they want kids. But I snicker under my breath when I think of how they’ll baby proof that home.

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, first smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds, then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Child Costs

Child goes to preschool.

We don’t have public preschool so we’ll have to pay for it. Again, it’s in the thousands of dollars for such programs. Depending on where you live, the cost is comparable to day care. But seeing your child blossom is always worth every penny.

Take an egg carton, using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Last, take a milk carton, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Pops and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations! You have just qualified for a place on the play group committee.

Child has extracurricular activities.

Everywhere around me, I’m seeing school age kids with very busy schedules. Sometimes, busier than my own! They are signed up for swimming lessons, karate, art, music, ballet, piano and guitar learning sessions. Then there are the group sports activities with soccer, football, baseball, cricket and all that. What about summer camp. Or travels with your family that now include a couple of kids in tow, right? Oh, they’ll want to have some pets to play with too.

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.

Child has social events, school activities.

School days open a whole new world that involves socializing and keeping up with peers. It shocks me to see how much prom can now cost. What about some kids who get fancy cars when they turn 16? Thank you mom and dad!

Child goes to college.

Before long, you’ll be hitting up your 529 account which you hope grows to cover the inflated tuitions of the future. Say bye to your kid (for now) but hello to the biggest expenses of your child’s lives. You’re probably going to foot all, if not most of it but if you’re smart, you’ll encourage your kid to step up and help.

I hope you had a grin or two reserved even while reading some of these hard facts. The point though is that if or when you have your children, it’ll be the start of a new period in your life. As I mentioned a few times, our frugal lives took quite a hit after kids, but we’re working hard to manage the budget. Parenthood can be expensive, still I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!

 

Image Credit: The photoshopped baby photos you see here can be found everywhere in the internet so I’m not really sure whom I should credit for them. If you know who the original source of these images are, please let me know so I can give them due credit. Thank you!