Boy, do I wish I could be like her.
Like many former working moms, Maureen Evans has begun working on her own terms. She’s ditched her job to start her own public relations company.
I’m dwelling on some heavy thoughts lately, including the need for changing our lifestyle and still being able to afford all the things we’ve been accustomed to. I’m at the point when I would like to retire from corporate life. This is just a wish and dream of course, and one that isn’t all too uncommon. I’ve got some strong reasons for thinking this way but before discussing them, I’d like to put things into context by saying that as a full time working mother with two young kids, fifteen years in the corporate circuit feels like a long time.
I’m at an age and stage in my life where I need change, since it just no longer seems “right” to be working in Silicon Valley startups and technical teams at the same level as single, younger guys who churn out software code at a zillion lines an hour. Either I go up the career ladder and join management OR strike out on my own and begin my own business ventures and take a step back and embrace a role I’d really much rather take on: that of being a stay-at-home “mompreneur.” I’ve decided I really don’t want to get further involved in the corporate world, so I’m nixing any form of career advancement in a 9-to-5 setting, which can actually become quite demanding and consuming. We’re now re-orienting ourselves towards becoming more self-independent financially to give us more time with family.
But this won’t be that easy. We’re entering the time of larger budgets and expenses and I’m therefore exploring our situation via all angles, while starting out with the proper justifications for these changes.
Here’s how I’ve organized my thoughts that have been festering for sometime. I simply wonder: Are we ready for this?
Challenge #1: Do We Have Enough Money?
Our family has seen a lot of change lately, including a startup venture my spouse had begun last year. Time has flown incredibly quickly and we are exactly ONE year from when he left his full-time, hard-driving corporate post in order to begin the long, arduous road as an online entrepreneur. I haven’t really mentioned what he’s doing yet but at some point, I probably will talk more about it — maybe within the next year — once it’s baked enough to meet an online audience.
Now that he’s been on a new, more flexible schedule full time, things were left up to me to bring in whatever income to keep us afloat. But living in California (I’m sure many Californians or San Franciscans will agree), it’s almost impossible to live on one income unless of course you’re either:
- Extremely frugal and live very *very* modestly
- Someone with a small family or who has minimal or no dependents
- One of the “Haves” in this neighborhood, where your single income supersedes the GNP of a small Pacific island
Unfortunately we don’t fit squarely into these buckets — we’re cost-minded but not extremely so. We’ve got more than a few dependents (e.g. extended family), and we’re still a looong way from having a single income cover all our needs.
So how are we covering our deficits? We do so via hard-earned savings from the previous decade, a “go-go era” that will probably never be repeated. But with a spending deficit, it should be obvious that we’re in a situation that cannot be sustained indefinitely. But this opportunity has made us experience what it’s like to live on one income; it’s just that this time, it’s my income we’re using. In the next few years we may do a trade, and while I forgo my full-time position and my income and corporate benefits, we’re hoping the spouse will be able to build up the eventual income stream to keep us going.
Our immediate plan is therefore to determine how we can close that spending gap and to LEARN how to live on one income for the long term.
Challenge #2: Do We Have Enough Time?
Our kids are growing older and before long, they’ll be actively involved in school and other activities. We’re already seeing the need for greater involvement with the school system. As part of our bid to become more financially independent and free of the corporate shackles, we’re just now beginning to develop alternative streams of income. All these projects and activities means a more hectic schedule and less time all around. Everything will come to a head at some point and something will need to give. After reviewing our priorities, we’ve decided that my job will eventually have to be sacrificed to make room for everything else. And I’m not the least bit sorry about it.
Our plan here is to better define our roles as providers and parents. I’ll give up the 9-to-5 job to handle the kids’ needs on a full-time basis (versus the 50-50 set up we have currently) and give more time to home management and side business projects. The spouse will focus on meeting our primary income goals as the years progress.
Our current goal is to become more financially self-reliant with lives that have improved work/ life/ family balance. We all want the time to spend on more things that are meaningful to us and our families. Well I’m going to keep track of our efforts here and we’ll see how well our plan unfolds in the next couple of years towards the fulfillment of our goals.
- Stock trades: Free stock trades from Zecco, Cheap stock trades from TradeKing, Stock news and Investment info at INO TV Free, No cost Trend Analysis for stocks
- Earn top returns: FNBO Direct [1.90%], HSBC Direct [1.65%], WTDirect [1.76%], E*Trade Bank [0.95%], ING Direct [.25% to 1.65%]
- Cash bonus: Discover More [$50], American Express [$25], Lending Club [$25]
If you enjoyed this post, you can get free regular updates through our RSS Feed, or you can have our latest posts delivered to your email inbox by supplying your address here. Your address will only be used for this purpose, and you can unsubscribe anytime.
{ 21 trackbacks }
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m definitely not in the same position as you, but I think your situation is commonly felt.
It’s fascinating to me how people deal with marriage in general where each person has their own aspirations. I guess it’s one big balancing act.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m sure I’ll be in a similar situation in the years to come.
Multiple steams of income is a must so if one messes up you still have others to cover your back. You’re doing a great job with this blog so I’m sure the revenue generated from this website is helping your family out.
Carl,
. I never thought I would shoot for this one income/ work-at-home goal in the past since I expected to work at a job till the traditional retirement age. My main reasons to keep a job were my love for technology (then… 
and my desire for “social” contact with friends and professional colleagues. I should have known that once you have children, the formula often changes. I thought I would buck this trend.
I can tell this predicament is a very common one just by seeing the number of blogs and carnivals dedicate to this subject
David,
We definitely would like to establish alternative income streams and blogging is certainly one such avenue. Many folks in the blogosphere have continued to impress me with their resourcefulness and creativity as far as success with non-day-job income is concerned. Hopefully we’ll be able to continue on this route into the future.
My wife gave up her analyst job at an investment bank when our son arrived, and I keep slugging away at the 9-to-5 job. I have realized over the past 2+ years that it probably would have made better sense for me to stay home and for her to go back to work. She needs the social contact more than I do and enjoyed her work more than I do. The only problem was that I outearned her 2 to 1.
We continually kick the tires on moving to a cheaper environment (we’re in the NYC area) so that even ONE big income isn’t totally necessary… but then jobs become an issue since both of us have somewhat specialized skills.
I guess all I’m getting at is that we’ve been doing the traditional “daddy works, mommy stays at home” thing for a little more than 2 years and it hasn’t been as great as we hoped for – and not because of the money, surprisingly, but because my wife misses her work more than she thought she would and because now – despite being a consultant who theoretically could have a lot of free time on my hands – I feel more ’stuck’ cranking out hours than I did before, since our income dropped by 40% and living expenses went up. Tough stuff!
We’re facing the same decisions, again. My wife stayed home for nearly a year after our son was born and went back to work after being courted back for a new job making more than either of us made before. We saved a bunch for a while and then moved to a bigger house. Now both of our jobs are coming to an end before the end of this year. Whichever of us lands the better job first might be the involuntary sole income earner for a while.
We still want more “stuff” and a better investment account balance before we voluntarily stop working.
Navigating what you want and what you need is so tricky. I hope your spouse’s business goes wonderfully and you can achieve your goals.
Good luck! I’m still working on what I want to be when I grow up.
California is defintely expensive and you’re right, it’s hard to live off one income. Has your family ever thought of possibly re-locating to another state or a cheaper area? I was just curious. Good luck!
@Brip Blap,
Plus, I’d like to organize more play dates…
I never imagined I’d go for the traditional approach of having mom stay at home to watch over the kids while dad worked. But when I discovered I could still work albeit at home, I changed my tune! Now I’m eager to refashion our lives and work schedules so I can get going on some cool biz ideas.
@My Trader’s Journal,
Good luck after this year and any changes you’re facing thereafter. Somehow things usually work out pretty well after the adjustment period.
@Paid Twice, I’m excited to be able to reveal what the startup’s about. I look forward to when it gets released. Thanks for the wishes too.
@Tom, yes, we’ve entertained the possibility of relocating someday. But so far, all our relatives and extended family are in our immediate vicinity so it would be tough. We do have Australia in our sights but moving there is a long ways a way.
Your post makes me think of other women I’ve seen in similar situations and I have to say that I find it depressing that it seems like most of the time, it’s the woman who ends up staying home when the kids arrive and a couple decides that it would better to have one of them at home. There are plenty of men who probably aren’t that happy with the 9 to 5 grind but feel some pressure to stay with their job, particularly if it pays more than the the wife’s. I’m rambling, but I do lament disappearance of smart, talented women leaving the corporate scene. Some of them do end up doing the entrepreneurial thing, but not many.
I think that decisions to raise a family, handle jobs and develop a particular lifestyle and routine are pretty much up to each family to work out themselves. Unfortunately, a lot of these decisions are colored by money requirements and therefore, people stick to the job that pays more even if they aren’t as happy about it. It’s true that necessity forces us to make such hard choices at times. But regarding talented women who leave the corporate scene — I know quite a few, and for these people, I have only seen them find great fulfillment in their roles as stay at home mothers.
I guess in the end, it’s all a balancing act where we figure out how to get the most happiness out of the situation we’re in. There’s a lot of give-and-take in a partnership as well such that sacrifice and fulfillment are juggled in the most optimal way at any one time.
Hi. I am organizing this week’s carnival of life and I am reading this entry for the carnival and I had to stop and respond because I am in the very same dilemma that you are in right now. I feel a very serious calling to leave my corporate job to spend more time with my family and to start my own business. I have so many interests that I don’t know where to start. I hope to figure it out soon. My soul is calling me to explore this. Thanks for your post.
When my first son was born, I went back to work. I lasted exactly two months. I’ve been at home ever since, picking up jobs here and there. I’m now at the point where I’m ready to go back full time and I am so thankful we had those years with me at home. We did give up a lot of things but it was worth it.
Wow, I can totally related to this post. I am single, make a reasonable salary, have a fulfilling life, etc., and considering having a child on my own. In the past, I’ve always said if I only had this xx money, I’d have a child. But now I’m realizing what a lame excuse that is since I am running out of time. If we want something bad enough, we can change our lifestyle and find a way to make it happen.
Good luck!
Sounds great, If you keep working at it you will become financially independent. Good luck.
http://www.stocks-simplified.com
SVB – I’ve been working since the age of 16. Found myself in the corporate IT world just shy of 15 years ago and am now managing the global network operations for a large company. Advancing to management was the worst career move I ever made.
As you implied, the love of technology has faded (likely because I spend far less time playing with gadgets these days and far too much time on conference calls). In any event, I found myself facing the same drives and motivations you are with a few extra thrown in.
In any event, as a kindred spirit, I wish you, your husband and your family the absolute best of luck. It’s a scary proposition to be off on your own. I’m just getting started and not ready to entirely let go of the corporate apron strings just yet, but when I do it will be because of inspirational examples such as yours.
Working from home is a great thing for your lifestyle and health if you can do it. I think it is really about making a consistent income outside of work before you leap and downsizing expenses to make it a reality.
My dear hubby’s job was literally driving him crazy so he left it, at age 47. Since then, he has remodeled our kitchen & 2 bathrooms, works part time for my accounting business mainly saving my bacon in every way, and does all of our shopping and yard work.
It is a little scary for me to be responsible for the money coming in, plus hubby has had to let go of the prestige and still struggles for social contacts, but overall it’s been quite wonderful.
I think 1 1/2 jobs is more than enough for any couple, even those without children.